We are usually so quick to jump in with well meaning advice but we don't know how to listen.
Counselling is an intrinsic part of each and every healing session because a large part of healing takes place when we are listened to with unconditional positive regard and we can begin to feel heard and understood.
Once we have vented our rage/despair/frustration/stress we can then calm down and become more centred so that we can more clearly assess the situation we may be facing.
We all have the necessary strength to face whatever situation we may be experiencing.
However, when we are feeling emotional, it is difficult to remain level-headed and make wise choices.
I think this poem below says it all!
Listen
When I ask you to listen to me, and you start to give advice you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen. All I asked was that you listen, not talk or do - just hear me.
Advice is cheap; two cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself; I’m not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of-understanding what's behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them Perhaps that's why prayer and meditation works, sometimes, for some people because a Higher Power is mute and doesn’t give advice or try to fix things. Meditation and prayer is talking to our inner-self which only listens... and lets us work it out for ourselves.
So, please -Listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; and I'll listen to you.
Anonymous
